What is it about Doctors Appointments?

OK, so all week I have felt like shit! I have been on the verge of suicide, mental breakdown, and complete and utter despair. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow...and guess what??! Just guess??! I don't feel nearly as bad as I have been! Not even close! What the hell! I can never go in crying or upset, because I always feel better before I go! So they don't actually ever get to see me when i am depressed or upset...which 90 percent of the time I am! It just so happens, these appointments land right in the middle of my plateau in my cycle...so I am debating on whether I should bring my blog with me tomorrow, so she can read exactly what goes on in my whirling mind. What do you guys think? (I may be hospitalized if I show her these recent entries)

Gahh.....What to do?