Gahh.....What to do?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
What is it about Doctors Appointments?
OK, so all week I have felt like shit! I have been on the verge of suicide, mental breakdown, and complete and utter despair. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow...and guess what??! Just guess??! I don't feel nearly as bad as I have been! Not even close! What the hell! I can never go in crying or upset, because I always feel better before I go! So they don't actually ever get to see me when i am depressed or upset...which 90 percent of the time I am! It just so happens, these appointments land right in the middle of my plateau in my cycle...so I am debating on whether I should bring my blog with me tomorrow, so she can read exactly what goes on in my whirling mind. What do you guys think? (I may be hospitalized if I show her these recent entries)
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5 comments:
A couple of hours before I have an appt, I sit down in a quiet place and make an extremely organized outline of what I want to discuss.
I am just really unsure of what to talk about..that wont get me put away...blahhh i hate therapy.
I think that you've been pretty clear about the difference between your thoughts, and your actual intentions. There's no shame in the way you feel, and wanting that feeling to go away.
I would clarify the fact that you don't intend to commit suicide, but that you have some genuine concerns.
Good luck Girlie!
I agree with Elizabeth and Heather. Also I think you should print out the blogs for your own reminder. Talk about the suicidal thoughts because it is key to understanding how deep your depression goes.
I arrive 15 minutes early to my appointment to reflect on what I want from the appointment. ex,"I want my depressions to stop" and work from there.
hi there.
I know exactly how you feel, because that ends up happening to me.. I'll say i've felt one way, they say "Well, I havent observed that here." And its because the feeling goes away before i get there.
It could be helpful to make more than one appointment in a short period of time if you're feelings are so extreme right now. For instance, i go once a week, but if i feel like im heading for a bad episode, i might go twice a week so they can get a better picture of how i really feel.
Journals and blogs that you write when you are experiencing those feelings can be really helpful for your docs... i understand not wanting to be locked up or anything. But you gotta be honest with them. I don't think they would put you away. There are alternatives.. But if you are feeling really out of control, theyre gonna recommend something be done until its gone... protecting you from your illness, you know. good luck anyway!
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