Monday, May 17, 2010

Tornado in My Brain

Ok, So I stayed up all night last night, crying. I thought I was feeling better and then it hit me. I am so anxious, worried, and sick over this house buying business with my husband, that I am literally filled with fire...I have such heartburn it is crazy. I am completely incapable of calming my racing thoughts. I am so exhausted from my crazy brain, yet I just cant relax! I am beginning to wonder what on Earth I am doing here?! I have ruined my life in so many ways and did this only in a matter of less that 4 years...(since I turned 18). I take the wrong turn with every move I make. I make the worst decisions when I make them on my own...and my husband doesnt like to tell me no...well I neeeeeeed him to tell me no sometimes...I really do.
Anyway my mood is outrageously out of whack today...I am sad, ANGRY, confused, lethargic, and frankly I am ready to sleep for the next 100 years...please, just let me rest! I cant take my mind anymore...its like I am in there but I am inside a tornado...my rational, intelligent, sane me is in there its just being washed out by all these crazy ideas, emotions, and out of whack reality. I want to SCREAM, or punch someone...Gah...please make it stop!