Bipolar Awareness Ribbon

Ever notice how so many other illness have so much recognition and Bipolar isnt? It is almost as if it isn't real or important. I get that cancer and diabetes and such are all things to support, and they are deadly...but isn't bipolar also. I mean according to some places like ,http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-suicides.html, suicide rate amongst Bipolar people is 15% even up to 30% based on some studies which is more than 30 times the rest of the population. I think that is something to help support for new research, programs, and support groups. I mean it isn't even important enough for a ribbon! The closets thing to an awareness ribbon there is is the Light Green ribbon, where it is represented by category of mental illness, some sights don't even list that, not to mention we have to share the ribbon with so many other causes too like:Campaign for Open Adoption Records,Cerebral Palsy, Ecology/Environment,Glaucoma, Health, Kidney Cancer/Kidney Disease, Leukemia, Mental Health, Mitochondrial Disease, Missing Children, Neural Tube Defects, Organ & Tissue Donor, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, and Recycling. I understand all these have to share the ribbon too..but why aren't creative ribbons made for each. The gay ribbon is a rainbow and it shares with no one, breast cancer has a solid pink that shares with no one, and even appendix cancer has its own color?! Not to be unsympathetic or to say these aren't important, but what makes them more important? I don't know maybe this is a stupid gesture, but man it kinda bothers me.

Control and Impulses

Sometimes I just get the urge to be "annoying" in all sorts of ways. Knocking on the wall at 2 am loudly, and then laughing. Or yelling anything from words to just noises. I find everything rude to be funny...and when I get the urge to do these things I "have" to do them. My husband says, "please control yourself", or "why can't you just stop?" It just isn't that easy. He thinks I am just being ridiculous when I tell him its really hard to do. Its like when i get the urge to do these things...and i don't do them my stomach starts to hurt, almost to the point of wanting to throw up a lot of the time, my head hurts something fierce, even my eyes with ache, and my ears will ring. When i give in to the urge it slowly goes away. Trust me I am always thinking about how its going to make someone mad and when i laugh they assume its done on purpose or to piss them off. I will admit that i do get a kick out of annoying people...and i don't know why. I mean sometimes I even just laugh uncontrollably at nothing and for no reason. What is strange...is I will get similar urges around people I don't know well or at all or while i am in public, but it is much easier to control and I don't feel those symptoms as much either. Is it all in my head? Anyway thats all I have really been thinking about today.

Btw slept great last night...took some sleeping pills....I hope i don't need them tonight.