Sometimes I just get the urge to be "annoying" in all sorts of ways. Knocking on the wall at 2 am loudly, and then laughing. Or yelling anything from words to just noises. I find everything rude to be funny...and when I get the urge to do these things I "have" to do them. My husband says, "please control yourself", or "why can't you just stop?" It just isn't that easy. He thinks I am just being ridiculous when I tell him its really hard to do. Its like when i get the urge to do these things...and i don't do them my stomach starts to hurt, almost to the point of wanting to throw up a lot of the time, my head hurts something fierce, even my eyes with ache, and my ears will ring. When i give in to the urge it slowly goes away. Trust me I am always thinking about how its going to make someone mad and when i laugh they assume its done on purpose or to piss them off. I will admit that i do get a kick out of annoying people...and i don't know why. I mean sometimes I even just laugh uncontrollably at nothing and for no reason. What is strange...is I will get similar urges around people I don't know well or at all or while i am in public, but it is much easier to control and I don't feel those symptoms as much either. Is it all in my head? Anyway thats all I have really been thinking about today.
Btw slept great last night...took some sleeping pills....I hope i don't need them tonight.
2 comments:
Whoa, I've found the need to draw attention to myself, but only when around people I know. I had never even thought about it like that.
I do those things too. I get the urge to be annoying in the ways you describe also. I thought that I was alone in thinking that way.
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